The Palestine Problem: A Glimpse Into The “Absurd”

The Palestine Problem: A Glimpse Into The “Absurd”
Gideon D. Asche

This article originally appeared in the Havok Journal.

I spent almost 11 years in the field and I picked up a lot of “lessons learned” along the way. One of the best was: “Never discount the absurd.”

An officer I worked with used to say that all the time. Mission planning always included 3 or 4 ridiculous and unlikely obstacles to overcome. The concept saved my ass on more than one occasion.

Jakkob, our Colonel,  was in the backseat of the lead Mercedes on operation “Thunderbolt” – More than a klick out from the terminal, in the middle of nowhere, they came across a lone Ugandan soldier. The poor guy probably just slipped off to sneak a pull off a flask or get high. Suddenly he is looking at Amin’s presidential limo – Only it’s full of Sayeret Matkal.

SM - palestine

I wonder if he shit his pants.

It was the last thing he ever saw… one of the Paras in the rear vehicle swiftly dispatched the stray Ugandan with an unsuppressed Galil. With the sound of gunfire, the jig was up and they were still a klick out from the target.

The Commandos had to adjust the mission template on the fly, in the ensuing firefight they the recovered 103 hostages, killed all seven terrorists, a gaggle of Ugandan troops and destroyed 11 fighter aircraft that would have given chase.

The Unit lost only one man; Col. Netanyahu (יהי זכרו ברוך) and three hostages, but the entire mission was almost a failure because no one considered a guy might be out getting high or taking a leak. That’s why the Colonel never let us neglect the absurd.

In about ’77 someone figured out the anticommunist underground behind the Iron Curtain was the same group of people who made up the Underground Church. Consequently at least one field operator from every team in our group studied theology. It gave us an edge, when dealing with assets on the other side, if we could understand the weird things they did. On my team, it ended up being me.

In my study of scripture I somehow always had questions that were on the border of being disrespectful to God, but they were valid questions in my mind. Things like why Balaam’s donkey didn’t kick the living shit out of him then have a talk with him? It seems like a couple of knots on his head would have been just the emphasis he needed to know never beat the ass that bore him again.

I did an essay for a theology course describing God’s sense of humor. I figured anyone who would tell Moses to climb a mountain then “Shoot the Moon” at him when he got to the top has a sense of humor I can relate to. It didn’t go over well, but I still think it’s the reason farts and moons are so humorous to all men – we were made in His image.

I’ll never forget the day I asked my Old Testament professor what they did with all the foreskins. We were discussing the Exodus. He thought I was being a smart ass, but I wasn’t. I figured if God has enough Hutzpah to screw with Moses’ buzz on the mount maybe he was just kidding about circumcision.

12 tribesYou gotta know there was a lot of “HUH…God said cut off WHAT?” going around the Sinai when Moses passed down the order to circumcise. I did the math and conservatively there were more than two million Jews who left Egypt with Moses and Aaron. A few thousand Goyim even chose to go along and since only males were counted, you can figure, up to 5 million people might have gone on that walk in the desert.

After wandering and reproducing for years in the desert God told Moses to circumcise all males eight days of age or older. A low side estimate would be 5,000,000 males of circumcision age; it could have been much higher.

Naturally… I wondered what they did with 5 million plus foreskins.

mosesDid they pile it up in the desert, was it the skin used in the Tabernacle… it still perplexes me but I have concluded it is just one of the mysteries of scripture I will never understand and let it go at that.

As a result of my theological training I have a tendency to apply biblical history and biblical principles to the assessment of any situation. Occasionally something fits. The Palestine problem is one of those issues scripture brought into complete focus.

I kept thinking there must be a deeper reason there can never be peace. Hamas even has it written into their charter stating: “…the so-called peaceful solutions, and the international conferences to resolve the Palestinian problem, are all contrary to the beliefs of the Islamic Resistance Movement…. Citing “Sura 2 (the Cow), verse 120 – There is no solution to the Palestinian problem except by Jihad” Article 13, HAMAS Charter

According to HAMAS, all ceasefires and treaties must be broken. They teach that honoring an agreement with Israel is an abomination to their god.

I asked myself: What has prevented the IAF from excavating Gaza by air and rebuilding it as an upscale tourist resort? It would be less hassle and make a mint for the Israeli treasury. It’s taken years but… Finally – I am convinced I have an explanation. It’s not a good one because it leaves no possibility of a solution, but that very fact is one of the factors that lead me to this conclusion.

I don’t expect you to embrace my conclusions, hell I’m not sure I embrace them myself… but the scriptural references are accurate and the logic is sound.

Even if you believe scripture is a fairytale and God is some mythical hairy old hippie dude hanging around in his magic underwear spewing rainbows on humanity, singing kumbaya and holding all the good green bud for himself – try to consider that while religion may not have an effect on your life, the majority of Palestine is controlled by religious beliefs and conflicts.

They believe it, so it must be taken into consideration if one is to understand the conflict. Even if we all know the real problem is oil, not religion – religion is a major factor.

This is much more than a conflict between two brothers from different mothers. Their argument is just the thorn – prophecy and disobedience are the festering puss that makes it hurt.

When Israel entered Palestine, God told Joshua to clear the land of heathens, kill every man woman and child living there and start over.

After Jericho it got around that Israel was coming through so rather than fight, and die, three Palestinian kings (Josh 9) decided to trick Israel into friendship and pretended to be from far away. They wore old torn clothing and had moldy bread as evidence of the long journey. Israel made the treaty and then found out they were the next cities on the list.

Too late… God said “You made the deal in my name … you will not break it in my name.”

In the following years Israel was forbidden from harming these three kingdoms and required to protect them from enemies. The descendants of these kingdoms, Gaza, the settlements, the Palestinian Arabs still have a valid treaty with the God of Israel. They will be a thorn is Israel’s side for eternity. There is no hope for peace in Palestine.

12 tribesThe rest of the Middle East is a different story but I have a theory on that one too. Oil is the prime resource and everyone but Israel pumps it en masse – why not Israel? Oh they are drilling in Golan, offshore or a few other insignificant places but there doesn’t seem to be much of an effort to find oil.

It’s because they don’t need to look for it.

They know exactly where to drill and know that when the rest of mid-east runs out of oil it will only be Israel who has any to sell.

What an Absurd … ridiculous… foolish… concept huh?

Is it?

We know oil wells can go dry, the oil level eventually lowers below the drill depth and a deeper well has to be drilled.

When Jacob blessed his sons he prophesied over each of them. I won’t bore you will the whole list but Asher’s blessing included some strange wording even for scripture.

“And of Asher he said, Let Asher be blessed with children; let him be acceptable to his brethren, and let him dip his foot in oil. Thy shoes shall be iron and brass;” Mishneh Torah 33:24-25 (Deuteronomy 33:24-25)

Asher will dip his foot in oil and have shoes of Iron and Brass. Isn’t that kind of an odd oil map222blessing to give your son? Like most anointed blessings there is much more in it than the words and the old man was pretty clear when he blessed Asher.

When you look at a tribal map of Israel you will see that Asher’s land is shaped like a leg with a foot at the end.

Asher’s toes are on the Mediterranean coast and this is where the oil is.

Or so many Israeli theologians and petroleum engineers believe. Asher dips his toes into the Med, that it where the oil is.  Asher’s foot is Iron and brass with the oil industry right now.

What if the oil fields are shaped like a swimming pool, with a shallow and deep end? One end is much deeper than the other and the oil level will eventually recede to the point where there is no more oil in the shallow fields?

Suppose the oil deposits look something like the illustration. Ask yourself what happens when the oil level drops too low for the Islamic world to access it.

Just a thought, I thought I would share.

Author’s note: if any of you ever figure out what really happened to the foreskins – please let me know…


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